I am fricken terrified of having kids. Truly scared spit less. To make matters worse, I’m not really sure why. Zdalebaby and I were talking about it last night. He’s ready, and half of me agrees with him. The other half is running away, as fast as possible, screaming NOOOOOOOO!!!
I’m 34, if I’m going to have any kids, it’s time to start. On the plus side, all my friends are doing it. No, I don’t mean I am a lemming; it is a bonus that my kids will have friends to grow up with. My family is far away, so I love the fact that I have a great support group in my friends, that my kids will have “Aunts & Uncles” here in town. My father was the youngest of 14. When I was growing up, my life was filled with extended family. Family functions were always filled with kids and grown-up have fun. Good times. So having my friends in the same time of life as I am, well, I consider it to be a good thing.
On the negative side, kids are a big responsibility. BIG RESPONSIBILITY!!!! HUGE! TERRIFING! To have and raise a child, to take on them for the rest of your life, to make sure they become happy, productive people. I am so afraid I’m going mess them up. I’m afraid of having to raise them on my own. I’m not afraid that Zdalebaby will leave me, but I am horribly afraid of something happening to him and me being left alone to care for them. I can take care of myself, financially, barely, but taking care of children and myself? My mouth is dry, I’m so scared of the idea. Shudder!