waiting is so hard

I hate this time of the month. The waiting. To bleed or not to bleed, and how do I feel about either option. I'm "due" today and this is the first time since I've gone off birth control that I haven't started early. I'm working really hard, not to get excited. Trying not to jinks myself. I feel like writing this is a jinks too, but I would rather babble it here, to the blogsphere, then to get excited to my hubby and friends and be wrong. I'm giving myself until until Sunday before trying to pee on the stick. I'd really hate to get a false negative.

It's been six months of trying...as much as I enjoy the trying part....I'm getting worried. sigh. I'd like to be preggers before my 36th b-day.